Shameless Excess... Bring it On

Just back from a week in Dubai - the land of the sun, surf, dazzling lights, shameless excess - just what the doctor prescribed as an antidote to the depression brought on by a prolonged bout of a dreary winter and an even duller Geneva.

I know that the media would make this city out to be currently in the throes of a cataclysmic crisis, where investors stand ruined and poor labourers toil it out in the sun, aka Egypt when the pyramids are built. The clamour has been exceptionally loud in the British media, which is ironic, considering Brit expats are the most spoilt in Dubai - they live in 4 bedroom villas, get manicures and salon treatments at the drop of a hat, have maids, gardeners and assorted staff and a general level of luxury which they would never be able to afford or have access to back home.

The truth lies somewhere in between - the guys facing financial ruin are likely to have been the very same speculators and developers who created a real estate bubble in the first place, workers face tough conditions, but often have no choice, as the wages they earn provide them with an opportunity to uplift the lives of families back home (as most Europeans would agree- they would rather they did this in the sweltering heat of the desert, than in their own backyards), and the average middle class citizens (most normal people in the city are middle class, they cannot hope to reach the level of wealth of the sheikhs and their extended families) work there and love living there and rejoice when others leave, as it means the roads have less traffic, and the malls are less crowded.

I leave you with my impressions as a tourist in Dubai Mall - the largest mall in the world, set in the district around the Burj Khalifa - currently the tallest building in the world. PS - they just got Bloomingdales. 

 

The Burj at Sunset.....

  

Candylicious.. the kids have little shopping carts of their own....

  

Magnolia Cupcakes at Bloomingdales - a perfect snack post an afternoon of retail therapy...

 

The Flying Men fountain inside the Dubai Mall.....

The Downtown Marina before the dancing fountain starts......  

 

The Dancing Fountain at Sunset.......

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Ridiculous Fashion

Would you pay a month's rent for this?

Apparently there are people who would. Take a look at the latest bag from Louis Vuitton's Spring Summer 2010 collection

 

It's called the Raindrop Besace and is expected to retail at Eur 1200. I don't know much about fashion, but you're kidding me right? Or maybe it's a case of the designer (Marc Jacobs), trying out some not so subtle fashion satire. He'e been quoted as saying, "There's this huge cult following of almost crazy people at Vuitton who just want whatever they buy to be exclusive." Well, they got their wish. (News courtesy http://stylefrizz.com, huffington post)

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Vive La France!

It was the worst of times, a seemingly endless winter, spent wallowing in a heap of weepy romantic comedies, DVD box sets and watching my neighbour's cats put on weight (one of them has got to be pregnant). The bleakness was relentless, the boredom was terminal. There appeared to be no repreive in sight.

And then, like a ray of sunshine that had fought a seemingly unwinnable war with the bank of clouds slouched over the Geneva skyline, and won, there emerged ....a whisper of hope (theme music)

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you.... hold your breath...Vitam Parc. Positioned as a "Centre for Bien Etre", it is -

a) At a 15-20 minute drive from Geneva City Centre (just out at the French border, near StJulien)

b) An indor aqua zone, with heated full length swimming pools, indoor and outdoor whirlpools, and water slides for the kids

c) A gym, squash and badminton court open until 10 pm in the night.

d) An indoor rock climbing area.

e) A Migros that is open till 9 in the night

f) A designer Macdonalds and three other cafes that you might actually consider sitting down and eating at.

g) A website and a customer service with working level knowledge of English.

They tell me the place gets pretty crowded on the weekends. It's close enough that you could be in Geneva, but it has thankfully precious little that is Swiss about it.

Maybe I can survive this winter without tearing my hair out after all.

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Pet Peeves

I know that this may be a little premature, considering I've only been here a few months (seems like a lifetime already), but here's a few things that make it real hard to love the Switzerland and locals.

 1) Texting while walking - Talk about taking "Pieton is King" a little too seriously. What's with the walking with your head down while texting, and not even bothering to look while crossing the street? You're just hoping there's nothing wrong with my brakes dude.

2) Customer Service folks telling you what they won't do - This appears to be a national sport that the Swiss take a lot of pride in. True story - I walk into the post office to pay my bills - I have about six or seven of them. The cranky old lady at the counter a) Speaks only French b) Tells me that I should have torn the versements out before presenting the bills for payment c) Stares at me blankly when I ask her what the total is, after grudgingly deigning to stamp all of them. You are expected to now the total, she tells me with a sigh, as she puts the bills through the machine. Really... I think she would have been better off at home with the cats.

3) Shut Down Sundays - I never thought I'd ever be in a situation where I'd hate Sundays - and this is after living in the Middle East, where Sunday is the first working day of the week! Sundays in Switzerland make me feel like I'm in a riot affected country that has just called in a curfew. About the only thing that you can do is catch a movie. Last weekend, the entire population of Geneva - I'm not kidding here - was at Balexert, a local movie theatre. It was so bad, that we had to actually watch the film sitting on the stairs! And if you're unfortunate enough to not want to ski every weekend in winter, well, I guess you don't deserve to be here!

I know this is just the first of many rants about Switzerland, but then, people tell me its because I'm getting into phase two of settling in. Hmmm...... I hope they're right.

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Gypped in Geneva

So I'm getting out of a meeting at one of Geneva's most prestigious hotels - The President Wilson, last evening, when I got robbed.

It was a slick operation. I am an easy target, both arms full, distracted, as I finish a phone call getting into my car. A man knocks at my window and signals to my tyres. "The wheel's out of alignment, be careful driving," he says, in French. Alarmed, I step out of my car and look cluelessly at my back tyre. Unable to perceive anything wrong, I drive off to the restaurant where we are having dinner. 

It was only as I was getting out of my car at the restaurant that I realised that I didn't have my bag. My first instinct was that I'd left it at the hotel. A frantic dash back and search at the hotel and the parking lot revealed that this wasn't the case. Either the guy himself, or an accomplice had somehow managed to get the bag out of the car, while I was out looking at the tyres. 

Our suspicions were borne out, when we are told at the visa processing office that we were the 19th case of stolen permits reported in the last couple of months. Rumor has it that Geneva has apparently been invaded by a gang of purse snatchers from Lyon.

Meanwhile I'm kicking myself mentally for not being alert enough. Luckily, the most valuable thing in my purse was my permit, and some loose change.

So keep an eye out people, in case you're in the same situation, remember to watch your purse!

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Illusions and Recycled Air

The 40 something executive in a customised designer suit who zips through check in, while you wait it out behind the four parent, six screaming kids nightmare of a family returning from a ski vacation. The woman who clocks in sixty thousand odd air miles, managing a career, a family and two children. The hotshot young manager who comes up with a way of cutting 85% of the cost to company, two weeks into her first job. 

Ryan, Alex and Natalie are the key protagonists in the film in writer/director Jason Reitman's "Up in theAir", during the course of which he effortlessly takes these and other hallowed examples of what constitutes a  successful human being in modern society, and manages to get the viewer to see beyond the cliche. - Ryan has lost any semblance of human connect, Alex has "settled", and Natalie hasn't realised that she can't have it all.


Through the course of the film, the characters reveal their cynicism ("Think of me as yourself, only with a vagina" - Alex) and their essence ("How does it not even cross your mind that you might want to have a future with somebody" - Natalie), with effortless wit and irony, and, at it's end, you leave not feeling sorry for any of them, but rather reflecting on (as Ryan would put it) what you, if anything, would really  "put into your backpack before you set fire to it."

There are many metaphors for the decline of substance and real human connection in this film, one of them perhaps is also that it has been pitted with the likes of Avatar in race for the Oscars. While it is unlikely that it will triumph over the flash and dazzle of technology, the money making juggernaut, or the political correctness of other contenders, in itself, it is a quirky little gem, with some great acting (a shoutout to a brilliant Vera Farmiga and a merciful lack of schtick from George Clooney), brilliant writing and the pluck to stick to what filmmaking is all about - that sleight of hand that makes you engage and reflect while thinking that you are being entertained.

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